An imagined email from Satan from the Lil Nas X video

Hey thanks for reaching out … yeah I did have a fun time on set. I have to admit I’m a little surprised by the hubbub around the video… seemed pretty tame to me. Nas was a great collaborator and let me choose my form. I don’t know if this came through but I intentionally selected a pretty campy version of myself. It almost looks like I’m a background actor with a hot bod uncomfortably stuck in a not-good-enough-for-Legend latex mask. Like I’m just sitting there stock still while Lil Nas X grinds on me (highly recommended experience A++ would buy again!). I thought the whole silly campy vibe would be communicated but seems like it’s a little lost on folks! (Actual facts: we don’t have a stripper pole in my domain, it would melt too quickly.)

BTW, it’s been a while since the last big controversy like this, hasn’t it? I remember back in the day when Ozzy was biting heads off of bats and Motley Crüe was making devil signs… it seems like I had Christians shaking in their boots every six months or so. I guess it’s a sign … everyone is jaded now. I have to admit, Old Saint Nick is a bit out of touch… I didn’t even realize Three Six Mafia was a reference to me until I saw it on a church newsletter!! Color me an old fogey!

(I did try to get those Nike shoes though but I had to install an “app” and Azazel wasn’t around, he’s my guy for handling all my phone stuff.)

Anyway I’m glad I did the video! It seems like an enjoyable distraction like Tiger King (which I had nothing to do with but I’d love to be a part of in the future). Something for people to get mad about and then forget in a few months… a perfect little pop culture gem for teenagers to inflict on their parents to express their rebellion, and hey if a bunch of queer kids also feel seen by it, well who says the Devil is all bad right?

PS Don’t try to kill me by snapping my neck if you see me! It doesn’t even work on human beings and I’m an eternal demon! Also I have a crick that I need to see the chiro for and you’ll only make it worse!!

PSS Let me know if you still want to do the Ted Lasso watch party, I got my Apple TV hooked up!!!