Other Unlucky Dates Besides Friday the 13th

Hope you’re having a tolerable week. Here’s a comedy list I submitted to McSweeney’s that they passed on. I think it’s funny so here you go.

Other Unlucky Dates Besides Friday the 13th

1. Thursday the 12th: In some cultures this day on the calendar is considered equally unfortunate

2. July 4th (in England): Huge loss for this country in a previous sporting event

3. December 31, 1999: Computers were simultaneously apprehensive about their internal data structures and disappointed that the year did not party in the way that Prince had promised

4. Every other Monday: Just generally unpleasant

5. Friday the 32nd: Rare date in the Gaulish calendar, farmers discouraged from planting crops on these Fridays and/or eating crubeens

6. Arbor Day: Beware the trees

7. Boxing Day: Citizens are allowed to pummel others without legal consequence for 24 hours

8. Woden’s Days: Spiritual sensitives are likely to experience distress whenever Odin’s spirit returns to Midgard, also it’s just tough getting over humpday. Quoth Heimdall: “Everyone’s just working for the weekend. TGIF”

Have a great day!