No one is trash

I want to argue here for a more nuanced view of our public figures.

Last week, DMX died. A lot of people were sad.

A lot of people were also angry, because he had some very homophobic and misogynistic lyrics in his music. Lyrics that advocated for violence against gay men and young women.

It’s clear from the reaction that a lot of people felt uplifted by his music; that it represented their lives in a way that no one had before. I don’t think we need to talk those people out of their grief (and we can’t anyway).

It’s also clear that a lot people feel his words did harm. I don’t think we need to talk those people out of their opinions either (and we can’t anyway).

I don’t believe “cancel culture” is a thing. Very few people actually lose their lives/careers/reputation. I think often what happens is that people’s access to a public audience is rightsized.

But I do think we have a culture that labels people as “trash” too willingly. I think it results in a brittle, complicated, unsustainable way of relating to pop culture. It forces us to either assemble a roster of unassailably pure idols, or that we lean directly into moral relativism and cut the heroes we like the most a whole bunch of slack.

I was and still am a fan of Kobe Bryant. I was stunned and saddened by his death last year. I also remember that the 48 hours after he died was specifically not the time that I felt like discussing Eagle Rock, Colorado with people. Besides, when you attack the dead, you aren’t attacking anyone except the people that loved them. The actual person is beyond your reach. There is no damage but collateral damage.

I don’t know how we reckon with problematic heroes, but personally, I don’t think I can construct a universe where I only enjoy the work of perfect human beings, especially considering that even the ones that appear perfect probably aren’t. As a mildly famous person, I know that I’m not. I don’t know that my life could hold up to the scrutiny that some of these people are subject to.

Or I guess rather what I’m trying to say is that I’ll have to assemble my list of people that I enjoy in a personal, flawed way, that has give and take and has some hypocrisy built into it, and so will the next person have to build their own list through their own personal consideration. Some folks will consider certain people “persona non grata” and everyone’s list will be different.

It won’t be possible to create a rubric that applies equal moral certitude to everyone. We won’t have a pantheon of untouchable idols (beyond maybe Angela Lansbury and Kermit the Frog). We’re going to have imperfection woven into every part of our cultural tapestry.

Or we can keep pretending that we can rat out every problematic person in every public industry and look at the angels that we’re left with, full well knowing that the people that remain could also be just as problematic, or that we’ve driven all of the language and behavior that we despise to the furthest, darkest corners of private life where they will still fester and express themselves.

I don’t know the right answer; I just know I can’t keep an infinite list of things like “people that are hypocrites because they support gay rights but also like DMX” and “people that were sad about Prince Philip but made jokes about Siegfried Fischbascher’s death” in my head. If you know a better way to navigate these waters, let me know.

KITTEN UPDATE: Unfortunately the mama took the kittens somewhere else. Friday afternoon, Eric noticed that there were only two left in the nest. Then he saw on the security camera the mama taking one away to another location. I think I have found this location, inside a door underneath our house, but it’s got a lot of weeds that I need to clear out first. If I can get a night vision camera on that location I will let you know.

Finally, I would like to pour out a bucket of popcorn for the ArcLight Cinema on Sunset in Los Angeles which is not going to reopen. That was my favorite place to see movies and it’s gone now. I hope some other company takes up the challenge and reopens the venue.